


The Sociopathy of Supergirl

by Ratmor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst and Humor, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Loss, Loss of Control, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship, Out of Character, Red Kryptonite, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27595127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratmor/pseuds/Ratmor
Summary: It dawned on Kara that something was wrong, when she tried to clear her anger, as she was accustomed to, and accidentally looked in the mirror. The area near her eyes was covered with crimson veins - barely noticeable - an ordinary person would hardly have pointed it out right away.Kara had a predisposition to the Thinkers Guild for a reason, and as a result, Supergirl immediately made a hypothesis.The history of this multiverse changed when Kara decided to figure things out on her own.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor/Jack Spheer
Comments: 59
Kudos: 117





	1. The Ordinary Morning of Supergirl

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Социопатия Супергёрл](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/714149) by Ratmor. 



> It occurred to me that as the youngest member of the Thinkers Guild on Krypton, Kara should be able to deal with anger in less destructive ways, their civilization is hundreds of thousands of years old, and if it comes to that, she had to be a little less dumb than she is in the canon version. And if she had noticed in time that she was susceptible to infection with Red K, then she would have tried to control what was happening. That’s my OOC here, sue me, but I needed the Red K story where she doesn't lose it right away, and I didn't find it, because apparently lots of Red K works are barely out of the PWP category. If you suggest the works that are good with the Red K plotline in them, I'd be glad. 
> 
> This work is what came to my mind because I was bored that summer in the COVID quarantine. It's being posted in Russian, about 7 chapters posted and some more almost written. I might add other pairings, it’s a work in progress. Those added in the tags are already present in the original work.
> 
> There's one more fanfic I wrote in this fandom, you might want to read, but the most part of it is in Russian. It's quite different from Sociopathy.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831761/chapters/70717272
> 
> I'm not sure I'm going to translate it all, but if there are any of you who would want me to, I'd totally consider it.

_**The Ordinary Morning of Supergirl** _

Kara Zor-El brushed her teeth, ate, and made herself presentable.

The morning was pleasant and sunny, although the working day already promised to be the same crappy mixture of horror and delight that it usually became because of Cat Grant and her professional ethics.

Everything seemed completely ordinary.

But the simple joys like yesterday's fried potstickers, or, for example, a short good morning message from Alex... They left an unusual feeling that seemed way out of ordinary.

“She killed my aunt,” Kara muttered and, unexpectedly for herself, hit the countertop so that the surface cracked. “Of course I shouldn't feel about her like I usually do.”

There was a half-drunk cup of coffee on the table, and of course, it made a somersault, crashed on Supergirl's steely knee, and the contents splattered the dress she was about to wear for the first time. A moment of irrational panic made Kara jump to the mirror and try to assess the scale of the disaster.

The dress was immediately forgotten when Kara Zor-El saw that the area near her eyes looked everything but ordinary.

The streaks of red seemed alien on her face, but she had a sudden thought that if she strained her eyes for laser vision, the image would be much more harmonious. The thought appeared on the periphery, it seemed, but the eyeballs were already filled with that dangerous crimson fire. It felt extremely pleasant on the inside because of how it would be destructive to everything on the outside.

Kara inhaled and exhaled slowly.

It’s a common practice for such impulses, but this time the result was visible - the streaks of red disappeared as if they had never existed. After that, it was not so difficult to extinguish the fire in her eyeballs.

Anger didn't seem like something unnatural, no, everything was the same as usual. She didn’t feel much love for her sister's attempt to hide her guilt in the murder of Astra, which wasn’t out of ordinary. There was nothing out of the ordinary when she felt that she could barely tolerate Cat Grant's work ethic, that she despised Clark's decision not to take responsibility for his family and at the same time wear the sign of the House of El and use their common heritage as if he was the head of the House. Although he was a so-so Kryptonian, and that's putting it mildly...

Thoughts of this kind caused a serious desire to rush to Metropolis and kick her cousin's ass for all the shit she had to feel and suppress. But mostly, for his decision that she should live a normal life, instead of asking her about what she wanted when it mattered the most. When Kara Zor-El decided to hide under the guise of the mousy Danvers, it was her own decision, yes, but was it worth holding on to bad decisions made under the pressure of circumstances?

The control that was previously present somewhere in the subcortex of the brain, in the background of any outbursts of emotion, was now slipping away.

Supergirl came to that understanding when, instead of dressing up in some other suitable clothing and going to work, she was hovering over the Daily Planet building in Metropolis and texting Cat Grant, Winn and James that she wouldn’t be at work today.

“Fuck that Siobhan Smythe,” Supergirl muttered. “Fuck these government mongrels, too, tired of following their orders to jump and asking how high, and then getting nothing. As if they can’t do their job themselves…”

Kara stopped mumbling when she realized that she was hearing the familiar and definitely non-human heartbeat of Kal-El. She didn’t feel anger as such towards him at that point, although she was entertaining the idea to challenge him and make him subordinate. Requiring, to begin with, to control these outbursts of emotions! Kara barely restrained herself from punching his face. Clarke didn't notice the struggle, but the fact of that struggle itself seemed ridiculous! 

Control had to be returned. It was crystal clear to Kara because even in such an altered state of consciousness, it was clear to her that people had bullets made of kryptonite, and bullets made of kryptonite mean death on the cellular level. But this feeling of freedom, it tossed and turned from within and felt pleasantly refreshing. 

Kara Zor-El did not want to lose it.

And for that, she needed to survive the conversation with Superman without giving him a black eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT on The Sociopathy of Supergirl
> 
> ===The Ultimatum of Supergirl=== 
> 
> ===The Reconnaissance of Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Incognito of Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Luthor VS Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Abruptness of Supergirl===


	2. The Ultimatum of Supergirl

“Kal-El,” Kara nodded at him but didn’t respond to Clark’s open arms.

It made Clark wary, but only slightly. He noticed the wrinkle between Supergirl's eyebrows, and it became clear to him that she did not arrive in Metropolis because she missed her relative. 

Something was wrong. But what exactly - Clark just had to find out.

He decided not to be bold about it and not to assume. Can’t say that it saved him much.

“Kara, I told you to call me Clark when we’re alone,” Superman murmured with a friendly smile and patted his cousin on the shoulder. “I’m not used to responding to a name other than my earth name, you know.”

Instead of getting confused and stuttering as she usually did, when she forgot to call him Clark, Kara just winced even more and dodged another pat on the shoulder.

“Clark, that's exactly what I would like to talk about.”

“About what?” Super was sincerely puzzled.

“You represent the Kryptonian from House El for everyone who knows even a bit more about Krypton, than the average American. You wear our symbol, and biologically you are not human. But... Rao, Clark, I'm tired of putting up with this.”

“Kara,” Superman made a vain attempt to reply but was interrupted.

“First, Clark,” Kara pushed on his name with a strange tone in her voice, “I was going to be accepted into the Thinkers Guild on Krypton,

the youngest recruit in the last few hundred years, and was originally created for doing great things, without even being superpowered, Clark. I was given one single task, when I was pushed into an escape pod and sent after you - to raise you as a Kryptonian, to take care of you.”

Kara paused and shrugged looking Clark in the eye. 

“You just grew into a human with superpowers, and no one is to blame for that, but... Your decision to leave me with the Danvers, Kal-El, robbed me of the years of my life that I could have spent doing what I was created to do. It would be a happy life without much regard for the fact that I need to join a completely sordid society of some miserable aliens. And it was at the worst time for this - at high school. All this time, I could have lived without paying attention to the fact that Alex wanted to be a scientist, like her parents. Do you understand that everything that happens here in the scientific world is the level of pre-guild education for the Kryptonian? I would’ve just overshadowed her if I applied my real knowledge. But no, I had to hide what I am all the time, Clark. Alex, both with me and without me, would be a doctor, doing her biochemistry, flying around the world, leading at least some semblance of an entertaining existence. While me... Well, for starters, I just lived a life I didn’t belong to longer than it was worth, all the while Eliza was depressed. Eliza, whose husband was taken away by Rao knew who and where, because of - by the way! - your decision to leave an extraterrestrial teenager with superpowers in a completely human family…”

She shut her eyes and calmed herself down. Her eyes started burning at some point but it wasn’t the heat vision.

“Rao, Clark, do you know where I lived before this... Sordid little world? Skyscrapers high above the clouds, thousands of years old history of our civilization. And local scientists only dream about the things we explored! It could've very much solved the problems of modern humanity! I could have been saving lives long before I put on this…” Supergirl tugged at her skirt irritably. “Fanservice with a cape!”

“Kara!” Clark's face was unreadable, but the tone just oozed with sympathy and concern, which seemed even more maddening to Supergirl. “What caused all this,  Kar? What... What happened?”

“This is... Was boiling for some time, Clark. I don't want to look back at you while making my decisions anymore. And I don't want you to make decisions about me without informing me.”

“What are you talking about…”

“You know perfectly well!” Kara broke her calm and barked it out, clenching her fists. “You told your friend Jimmy who I was. I didn't know him, Clark. And frankly, if a person doesn't tell me right away that he knows I'm from Krypton, it bothers me, Clark. And he didn’t.”

“It's Jimmy!” must be said that Clark was unpleasantly surprised at this. “And you seemed to like his work when we talked…”

“Really?” Kara laughed almost kindly even because his expression was so funnily perplexed. “I liked that he takes photos of you because you are my brother. I liked those, but not that they were staged, and he got Pulitzer in Feature Photography for them, on a par with those people who returned from the war zone. But it’s not what I was talking about, Clark.”

"Kara," Superman shook his head and sighed. “Where to are you leading this? I can promise…”

“Give up the leadership of our House officially, Clark. We need a new path. Or I will challenge you to a duel according to the old Krypton custom.”

Clark batted his eyelashes and opened his mouth to say something. He couldn’t manage anything intelligible, looking pretty much struck. 

Clark became firmly convinced that the Supers simply need to talk things out, and that was the problem his sister came with. 

Kara, on the other hand, became firmly convinced that all the things that she listed, previously brought her into an extremely painful state when reminded of them. And now it didn’t work.

Whatever it was, it made her much better, in many ways. 

She didn’t want to part with this newfound feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT on The Sociopathy of Supergirl
> 
> ===The Reconnaissance of Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Incognito of Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Luthor VS Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Abruptness of Supergirl===


	3. The Reconnaissance of Supergirl

Kara eavesdropped and watched with all the powers she had available. 

It wasn’t quite clear why before this " _infection of selfishness_ " she had the luxury or maybe audacity to neglect such precautions. And why did it seem necessary now?

Even a bumbling fool understands that if you're going to the Luthor lair, firstly, you shouldn’t go through the front door and, secondly, you must be fully armed because the Luthor... They will definitely be ready.

Not that Kara was going to attack anyone or blame them for anything, even if her present state clearly was an outer interference. Although any meetings with the relatives of the person who tried to kill your relative are much more likely to end in confrontation than any other meeting. Except for those meetings that are the routine Supergirl job, of course. By the way, one hundred thirty-seven missed calls from Alex, Wynn and even J'onn combined would be a new record, it seemed. She shrugged it off and got back to getting ready to meet the Luthor.

That’s the real reason why Kara was hanging out in the air above Metropolis for about half an hour.  Her calm demeanor was supposedly reassuring to anyone looking, after this little “puff” instead of a real conflict with Clark. Also, she overheard enough information to have an idea of where Lex Luthor's sister was in the first five minutes or so. Why Supergirl needed that information is another question, much connected with her newfound - both scheming and straightforward - state. After all, the other Kara would’ve never even thought about using the difficult state of affairs in LuthorCorp in favor of House El. And the other Kara would’ve preferred not to enter any conflicts with her youngest-eldest living relative because he was the universally recognized hero...

"What am I, chopped liver?" Kara thought irritably while her thought process led her to realize that the previous version of Kara Danvers never even had a massive argument with Clark prior to today’s incident.

Lena Luthor. What’s both funny and remarkable, the "L" thing, despite the adoption, has been preserved, since both the mother's name is Lillian, and the father's name is Lionel, and the brother's Alexander, whom everyone, right at his first appearance in the press, shortened to "Lex." But what is absolutely not funny, at the same time no less remarkable - Lena is currently trying to save LuthorCorp, her personal life and the future of cancer patients, at the same time.

With each of these three tasks, Kara thought, Supergirl could help just brilliantly.

And she wanted to help - not even because it was noble and right. By all means, Lena Luthor was of use to House El, to Supergirl. LuthorCorp's resources could be extremely vital in fulfilling lots of global and personal tasks. And the desire of the sister of the terrorist and xenophobe Lex Luthor to get rid of that stigma, coupled with the support from Supergirl... More precisely, Supergirl won’t simply provide support, they’ll have to work closely and take into account all the possible scenarios. The relationship might need to be reinforced with at least some degree of trust. That's why she finally made a decision. 

It won't be Supergirl speaking to Lena Luthor.

It will be Kara Zor-El.

***

Kara eavesdropped and spied again, but now her target was _just_ Lena Luthor, and not the entire LuthorCorp Plaza in Metropolis. A young woman - and she was less than twenty-five, younger than Kara - was trying to convince her boyfriend, a certain Jack, that she’d be able to meet him as soon as she’s free. 

Apparently, they had something to discuss - that’s what she said. 

Kara suspected that the breakup isn’t that far, and it wasn’t even Lena’s tone that was more like the tone of a CEO, and not a lover when she spoke to him. It could simply be a consequence of fatigue. Everything else indirectly spoke of it. The almost limp state of Lex Luthor's younger sister when she was alone, and at the same time her determination to act when she threw her anger in her step-mother's face, right after the board of directors meeting, which Kara happened to overhear. Lena said that she was not going to give up the management of the company. It seemed to Kara that the mother was even happy, as happy as a woman could be, whose son had been taken away. Just thinking of those lifelong sentences creeped Kara out even now. Of course, it's clear that Lex Luthor won't end his fight so easily, no matter what Clark thinks or hopes for. Lex was a person who managed to make the yellow sun's radiation Red. 

The corporate headquarters building was filled to the brim with all types of information on Lena Luthor. Only the brains of a Kryptonian or the like could digest and analyze all that information, and it wasn’t even the level of intelligence that played a role here, but rather the speed of connection of the nervous system.

Frankly speaking, it seemed to Kara that she only now, after this " _infection of self-esteem_ ", accelerated her thinking to the extent that would show her inhuman nature if she used it when she was in high school. For once, Kara felt that she started to use what she was given not by the star of this solar system, but at birth and by the upbringing.

Kryptonians with a predisposition to Thinkers Guild were not just scientists, they were the elite who preferred to use the scientific way of thinking in making decisions. They tend to have a penchant for thinking outside the box and analyzing. They had to make rational decisions to please all of Krypton, of course, not without dependence on emotions and politics, and the results were far from perfect. 

In the past, the old Kara formed some sort of rejection towards the Guild methods that she’d been taught, as a whole. After all, the Guild failed Kara. Not only Kara, of course, but she’s the one who got to break her rose-tinted glasses, as they say on Earth, and she won’t ever shy away from what they did.

In this new state, she finally realized that the Methods were not to blame for anything, the people who used them are to blame. And these methods did not have such an impact on those decisions.

The methods, of course, were not too simple, but quite similar in concept with the scientific methods on Earth. It was applied to politics and life with caution, after all, such methods are rarely capable of giving a lot of clarity. They usually generate more questions, more opportunities for a new experiment, discussion. 

The old Kara didn’t want to separate those two concepts in her head. She merely couldn’t because any thoughts about Krypton caused her pain and a desire to return at the time of the expulsion of the escape pod - and not to go anywhere. 

To die along with those who were dear to her.

The new Kara Zor-El cherished herself much more than her previous version, as it turned out. Thoughts about anything the Guild did wrong didn’t even appear in her head when her mind applied those things she was persistently taught for the first thirteen years of her life. 

Kara Zor-El decided that, after all, it would be really worth it, to use both the rational thinking inherent in her father and the cold-blooded manipulativeness of Alura In-Ze. That very manipulativeness was hard not to notice when Alura used her daughter to catch Astra and succeeded.

The use of that rational thinking, coupled with the advanced calculation of the possible consequences, made Kara cook up a plan.

Enabling the Luthor to save National City from Kryptonians, side by side with the Kryptonian didn’t seem like a bad plan. At the same time, Kara took a look at how the new possible variable in the future problems of House El works from both inside and outside. After all, eavesdropping on conversations at the start of the working day at the headquarters of LuthorCorp gave some simple but irreplaceable results. As it turned out, it was almost confirmed that the younger Luthor was going to relocate closer to Supergirl. Not that it’s directly connected - just away from Superman’s City. And National City holds one of the most serious parts of LuthorCorp’s research department, so it wasn’t that surprising.

The PR department, as Kara found out from the eavesdropping, stopped holding their breaths. They were very much tortured by Clark and others. The reporters were enthusiastic but did nothing but defaming the Lutors. Well, it was a place of work for thousands of people, had the budget of a small country, for that matter, seemed to have greater obligations to these people than some countries have. It did not bother the newshounds.

Kara always felt all the annoying pressure of the imposed image, and she couldn’t quite say that the image was that bad for her. Yes, it’s difficult to relax, yes, you have to constantly confirm you’re a hero or something like that. And this is what Kara would really like to stop once and for all. But in her new state, the only thing that came to mind, the impulsive thing, would be hitting heads and other body parts of anyone who would demand something of her, especially pushing the buttons of heroism and being the proper Super. 

That’s why meeting Alex would be a really bad idea, and Kara had to breathe for about five minutes through her nose in order to push back this desire to get to the DEO as fast as she could and knock the shit out of her sister and everyone who wants to join the fun on the wrong side.

Kara still possessed some semblance of self-control, at least at the level of "I won't fly to National City now to beat everyone I have to blame, because I have things to do here.”

So, Kara was able to compare the two situations and came to the conclusion that Lena Luthor's feelings should be especially terrible even if Supergirl didn’t like being reminded of the legacy of her family. She hated it despite the fact that the rest of the time she didn’t do her heroing, she lived the life of a common person, barely striving for career growth. 

Now Kara Zor-El possessed a truly microscopic level of empathy. But even now, Lena Luthor was frankly a sorry sight to watch.

Judging by those scraps of information that formed an extremely depressing puzzle, Lena's mother did not appreciate anything she did and all the time compared her in favor of Lex, even now, when said Lex was in a prison. That moment happened between mother and daughter during Supergirl’s surveillance and at the time the only thing that showed Lena’s feelings was the stutter in her breathing. That meant she’s really used to such a thing. Kara thought that those words would put the youngest Luthor into a panic attack. They were that rude and pushing buttons, she thought, but nothing happened.

At some point in her past, Lena made possible a startup with her boyfriend, friend, whoever he was right now wasn’t quite clear. An important project, nanobots, that might be able to save humanity from diseases, cancer in particular. Kara,  of course, like any Kryptonian with a classical education, was against cybernetic augmentation and advocated genetic research more than anything. Humans still create something similar to what was the norm on Krypton in this area, but using the unscientific-poke method in a scientific setting. Take Max Lord and his delightful projects, you don't even need to go as far as Luthor.

"Maybe I really don’t need to go as far as Luthor," Kara didn’t feel like it dawned on her, it was like something finally came together. "After his mockery of the Kryptonian genome and Bizarro, it’s easy to believe that he has something to do with my condition. It could be a way to incapacitate me, which simply didn’t work well... But as soon as I relax the grip... Fuck, it worked well. "

Kara shook her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"It means that it’s quite possible that the rest of the Kryptonians in the city, the very ones that are commanded by Non, and even Non himself, may now be under a similar influence that changes perception. And they weren’t fucking saints at all from the beginning..."

Kara sighed at all this hypothetical bullshit and listened to Lena Luthor again. 

It was quiet there, so Supergirl went down to the nearest alleyway, which was too clean, if compared with most of those she had to do the same. So, she quickly changed into her recently borrowed clothing that no one could ever connect with Kara Danvers.

All that she had to do was to slip past Miss Luthor's apartment security. It was easy to do so, because about ten minutes ago Lena ordered lunch at a nearby restaurant. Judging by the smells from the kitchen, it was very decent. Of course, she never had to pretend to be a courier yet, but she worked as a service before. She didn’t find it complicated.

Ergo, Supergirl, in boyfriend jeans and in a rocker long-sleeve T-shirt with some bright print on it, pretended to be a courier. The real one almost broke his nose due to his laces being suddenly tied up in the middle of another suspiciously clean and empty alley.

On the way to Luthor’s she had time to rethink her suspicions about the other Kryptonians.

“According to the security protocols that Alex forced me to literally cram in, when I joined them, I won’t be listened to. And even more so when I’m under the influence. So, my only available way out is the third party. And if that third party would be Miss Luthor, then we’d both benefit from that. She’ll help me, and I’m gonna help her save her company’s name in turn."

Kara Zor-El nodded to the security, flashing a smile and at the same time slightly lifting the peak of her baseball cap with the "S" symbol instead of the logo, as if scratching her forehead. This gesture allowed her to cover part of her face from cameras and from the guard. There was really not as much security as Kara anticipated, probably because Lena Luthor hadn't left Superman's city yet. After the arrest of Lex Luthor, everyone here relaxed, it seemed. Metropolis wasn’t like the National City, with a huge number of representatives of extraterrestrial civilizations with or without a Super in the city. The extraterrestrials came here for work and for fighting the Kryptonian, there’s much less middle ground, it seemed. 

Riding the elevator leading to the very top, Kara listened to Lena, first concentrating on her heartbeat, which she had already begun to memorize out of habit, and then on a pleasant, albeit tired, voice. Luthor just answered the security who confirmed the arrival of the delivery.

Kara touched the center of her chest, where the House of El sign was hidden under the bright print, and calmed herself down.

There was a camera in this elevator since it wasn’t just for Luthor to use. Kara didn’t have her glasses, so she simply turned away from the camera and faced the ceiling. She felt lucky - there were cameras on Lena's floor, but only directed at the shutters of the elevator. There was an ordinary video intercom near the door, but not a permanent recording device. 

That is, as soon as the door opens, Kara would have to improvise.

Of course, even this strange “red-eyes-always-impulsive” condition didn’t save her from the fear of improvisation. She didn’t want to get rid of this condition, even when Kara had it in her to admit, there’s no way it was someone benevolent who did this to her.

One could only hope that Lena Luthor didn’t share her brother's views.

Although everything that Kara heard about Lena and from Lena, nevertheless, didn’t lead to conclusions about any views or even goals on aliens she might have in common with Lex.

Kara Danvers perfectly remembered that she became a superhero in the most pressing circumstances, she was saving her sister's plane. So, it should be assumed that Lena Luthor, or anyone else for that matter, could become a villain in similar circumstances.

Only if worst comes to worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT on The Sociopathy of Supergirl
> 
> ===The Incognito of Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Luthor VS Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Abruptness of Supergirl===


	4. The Incognito of Supergirl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems, dorkiness still strikes through. But. There's always a but. Would be really happy if you point out my mistakes =)

“Good day, Miss Luthor.” - Kara smiled at the woman who opened the door, looked into her unexpectedly bright bluish-green eyes, and held out a paper bag with some goodies. - “Thank you for your order. Sorry for the delay, I'm certainly not as fast as Superman, but we're trying!”

Unexpectedly - because no photos or videos taken from a distance or on some galas and meetings could prepare for the clarity of intellect in these eyes. In huge part that’s what made them so attractive. 

Supergirl had bluish-gray nondescript eyes - that’s what she could see every day under the tortoise lead frame of her glasses. Without the glasses, the irises of her eyes were otherworldly blue, as if Elijah Wood turned to max, as Alex once put it. It was just a weird joke, but Kara couldn’t help but remember.

Therefore, Kara wasn’t really surprised when Lena seemed to stiffen when she caught Supergirl's eye. Well, the natural attraction of one of the main hereditary traits of House El was to blame for this, probably.

Luthor's gaze went higher to the Superman baseball cap - Kara pulled it over her forehead before exiting the elevator a couple of minutes earlier. Luthor almost immediately returned her gaze back to Kara’s eyes. Apparently, she took notice of loose hair. It was more for covering Kara’s face from the cameras than being there for the image, as it’s supposed to be when Kara’s in Supergirl uniform.

Kara Zor-El definitely felt something reminiscent of respect, seasoned with apprehension. Luthor quickly put two and two together when all the signs were there. Usually, people only want to notice what they want to notice.

“You have a nice cap. Talked to Superman yesterday. He smashed one of my properties when he suspected Lex's former lab there. It was mine, of course,” - Lena Luthor muttered in one breath and chuckled. - “Well, at least his eyes are out of this world.”

When Kara opened her mouth to say at least something she was planning to say, Lena Luthor barely suppressed a snicker and interrupted the very beginning of this communication attempt. Her skepticism was palpable, even.

“I think you have to come in first. I feel you got a couple of questions. Well, at least as much as I do?”

***

Lena Luthor kept her back straight. She was in full dress and heels even at home and that would be weird if she wasn’t going to have more business meetings further in the day. Kara had no trouble whatsoever looking through the younger Luthor's schedule in her assistant's notebook.

After all, Kara Danvers had some closure on being the assistant to the CEO of the large corporation, and she roughly knew how to decipher those notes Jessica Lee kept for herself. That seemed to be the name of that assistant, who got unlucky to lose her notebook due to Supergirl’s interest in the boss.

“Alright, Supergirl…”- Lena Luthor occupied the chair, still maintaining her posture and a calm expression. It looked more than aristocratic, but Kara Zor-El wasn’t impressed, although Kara Danvers could be, probably. - “To what do I owe your visit?”

“Not Supergirl,” - Kara returned to the former confidence that she lost exactly at the moment when those green eyes met hers, and Lex Luthor's sister took the situation in her hands, apparently much more accustomed to any possible negotiations.

Lena winced and, supposedly, tried to scold Kara.

“You don’t need to try and pretend that you’re here not on some purpose, and I’m genuinely mistaken. Why else didn't you run away from crazy Luthor when she invited you inside her lair?”

“You misunderstand,” - Kara Zor-El smiled at Lena Luthor, and the smile had nothing to do with what Lena had ever seen of Supergirl on the news or in hazy videos by fans or witnesses of her heroic deeds. This smile was more like teeth bared.

“What exactly?” - Luthor got even warier, and Kara noticed how the knuckles of Lena’s palms on the chair armrests turned white, how she squeezed the leather upholstery until it squeaked. She didn’t even notice herself, it could only be heard by someone like a Kryptonian, it seemed.

“I didn’t come here as Supergirl.”

Kara took a careful look at the face of her potential future partner in a huge number of possible, barely possible and completely impossible projects, and made a final decision. In her newfound but already familiar state, she didn’t take time to think or attempt to consult with anyone. She didn’t even need any special friendship with the person to whom she decided to open up. So, yes, Kara made up her mind, and it wasn’t a long-suffering and torturing choice or a decision dictated by the desire to share it with her only close friend, as it happened with Winn. 

“My name is Zor-El.”

Kara made up her mind, because for her it wasn’t difficult, not even in the slightest. Although Lena Luthor didn’t need to be aware of it.

There was no doubt for Kara that she’s going to use Lena Luthor’s apparent astonishment mixed with panic and nervousness to her own advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT on The Sociopathy of Supergirl
> 
> ===The Luthor VS Supergirl===
> 
> ===The Abruptness of Supergirl===


	5. The Luthor VS Supergirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara being jr sociopath and creeping Lena out along with making her a proposal she cannot refuse

"Superman sent his sister," Luthor muttered, and asked her question louder. "Anyway, why are you here? Asking a couple of questions, like I assumed, or anything substantial?”

"Oh, no, I'm not here on Kal-El's assignment, no," Kara chuckled, looked into Lena Luthor's wary eyes, and shrugged. "A little bit of this, a little bit of that.”

"All right. Then I'll start, I told you I have a couple of questions, " Lena's voice became harder and deeper, as if she had thrown off that fleeting stupor that the Super in front of her caused. The stupor almost all, even non-hostile, intelligences suffered while meeting Kryptonians. "I've been following the National City news, Luthor Corp has an office in that city, so I have to be somewhat aware...”

"Your subsidiary," Kara said. "Research and technology development, plus NC got more aliens than Metropolis. I bet your brother used this quality to its fullest.”

"So," Lena grimaced at Kara's interruption and gave an irritated twitch of her neck, almost unnoticeable to anyone who doesn't have the same perception as a Super, "I’m following the news because I’m interested in the city I’m probably going to move my head office to. Bad press by the Daily Planet, constant suspicions from Superman, the Metropolis PD and every other person around… It feels like quite an uncomfortable atmosphere for running a successful business.”

"And the board of directors are bastards," Supergirl nodded, a permanent grin on her face since the second she understood that she caused Lena Luthor to slip out of her frozen shell by irritating her. So she continued to do so. "And Mommy doesn't support anyone but Lex, the crazy murderer. Well, I’d probably understand if he’d only specialized on evil aliens, it actually makes some sense, because he doesn’t have the luxury of being almost indestructible, so you need to protect yourself…”

"Stop it!” Luthor raised her voice, but that flush on her face didn't last long, and she was quite surprised by her own audacity. Surprised so much that the next thing she said was astoundingly calm and measured. "Don't talk about my family. Especially not like this. I'm not seeking for confrontation, Zor-El.”

"Oh, you used my name!” Kara blurted out, her grin widening even more. "So, you've seen on the news that aliens are attacking and all that, so there's less to explain. So you’d be able to help me faster than you could’ve.”

"Help?" 

Luthor recoiled and raised one eyebrow, an expression that somehow reminded Kara of those irritating and at the same time extremely attractive moments of Cat Grant's dominant superiority over others.

"You remind me of Cat Grant right now," Kara couldn't help herself, and the unusual thoughts spilled out of her mouth, neither asking permission nor considering the location of where that was happening. - “For all that she’s a narrow-minded bitch in some moods of hers, not everyone are capable of making the opponent feel like they’re stupid.”

"Narrow-minded bitch?" 

Lena Luthor's eyebrows are weapons of mass destruction, Kara thought, as Lena herself continued to define the details of what she knew about the Super and Cat relationship. "She seems to be on Supergirl's side, like the Daily Planet is on the side…”

"The public got what they needed to get," Kara interrupted Luthor and waved her hand in front of her face in denial. “Cat Grant mostly doesn't think of me as a person, I'm just a valuable resource to her. Not that it's unexpected, but…”

“I can’t comprehend, honestly, what all these facts have to do with you here, in my apartment, asking for help, but in such a twisted way, so it seems as if you came here to insult me.”  
Lena has made the most suitable and easiest thing she could in the situation she found herself in, she legitimately bristled, probably would have scowled if not for the upbringing that didn’t allow her to lose posture even in a dangerous situation.

It was quite obvious to Kara that in Lena Luthor's eyes, any situation in which any Super was even present at the same time as any Luthor would be dangerous by definition.

"Oh, yes, asking for help," Kara said, her tone still mocking, even scornful, and continued her previous train of thought. "I have two problems. You see, in order to understand the essence of what I need of you, I’ll have to start a little bit from afar. Kryptonians, who were imprisoned in the Phantom Zone under the rule of still existing Krypton, decided to get out of hiding. On Krypton they went against the current government and were, to simplify it, eco-terrorists. One of them, General Astra, is my mother's twin sister. If she were still alive, we could’ve made peace, but here's the problem.”

Kara ground her teeth with the sound even Lena could hear.

“She was killed by an agent of the department I work with, so as not to be considered an outlaw. And the most stupid thing is that conceptually the Kryptonians were generally right, only their methods and paths of diplomacy have failed. Krypton died of an internal catastrophe, and almost nobody knew about this catastrophe until it was too late to decide anything, to change... That's why I love the press of this world, but what they do to you personally, making up sins that don't quite exist, I don't like it. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah” Luthor's voice faltered a little, but she coughed, visibly collected herself, and repeated it louder. "Yes, I understand. In return for your help, you could improve my reputation and reduce my expenses. But I still don't understand what the help might include? That... The department was able to kill a Kryptonian, so you clearly don't need any hypothetical Lex’s gadgets to neutralize the likes of them, and Lex's diaries have been confiscated…”

"Well, your rebranding is a great idea, as is moving out of Superman’s City, so you won't save much of your expenses on me," Supergirl chuckled once more. "There’s no other way, really, for any of us to separate the technologies created by you from those created under your brother’s command. He wasn’t making toys, and lots of his warehouses are definitely not expropriated by either the Feds or others... departments. Otherwise, they would have done something worse than that Red Tornado, " Kara grimaced, thinking of that infamous government fiasco.

Lena Luthor's soft laugh jerked her out of her memories.

"Be happy that thing didn't have Lex Luthor as its main developer. His biggest mistake was getting into the suit himself, you know that, right?”

"How do you even know that? A rhetorical question, sure, but really, miss Luthor, it was a closed government project, not a stream on a new toy on YouTube. And I think Lex's main mistake was going up against Superman at the height of his popularity, " Kara shrugged, finally losing her grin while Lena, on the other hand, acquried it. "Even if he had won, I would have kicked his ass in a few minutes when he wouldn't have expected it. Just on chance and luck, I’m capable of doing that sometimes.”

"You underestimate his plans, I think," Lena Luthor breathed out, and clasped her hands in her lap, asking once again. "So what is your request for help exactly? If you don't need me to deal with Kryptonians…”

"That’s how we go from the first problem - a bunch of Kryptonians with dangerous intentions, just out of prison - to the second. Someone in National City has access to a substance, probably a synthetic version of kryptonite, that affects Kryptonians' perception of reality.”

"How did you..." Lena Luthor coughed again, as if her throat went dry, which made Kara follow her own thoughts even without fully realizing them and bring a glass of water from the filter tap in several moments. She wanted Luthor to be functional enough to make informed decisions, after all. "Thank you, Supergirl.”

Kara smiled at Luthor without any mockery and looked down into her unusual and beautiful eyes. She seemed to be familiarly enjoying the sincerity of gratitude and the pleasant feeling of caring. 

She could hear the effect of showing the superpowers in the quickening of Lena’s heartbeat, not quite fluttering as if in fear, but just growing stronger, as if the manifestation of superpowers in a positive way had aroused Lena Luthor. But there was no telltale smell of excitement, which was not surprising, but the very thought of the possibility of such an outcome made Kara's own heart beat a little faster.

The human woman was attractive, Kara didn't have to chew down all her thoughts to make them seem less thought through, Lena didn't try to humiliate Kara or deceive her with a smile on her face and supposedly good intentions. And it wasn't really that Supergirl was particularly concerned about the ideas of acceptable sexual orientation that Kara Danvers had instilled in order to better fit into a society that seemed now a hundred thousand years below her own.

Kryptonians were hung on alliances between equals that would improve the situation of each spouse's Houses and families. Theoretically, the Birth Matrix had the ability to make children to anyone from anyone, although of course preference was given to traditional couples because on Krypton romantic love and family love were separated from each other by clear lines of duty to the House and the union between the two Houses. Sex was not a necessity for reproduction, so there was no question of homophobia, but there were certain expectations. Although, if she thought about it, any form of reproduction for Kara Danvers seemed very vague as a concept. Matrix-free reproduction happened to be possible in the case of Kal-El's mother only because of Jor-El's work with genetics and Council’s approval. The rest of the Kryptonians have long relied on the Matrix alone.

"Clark has everything I don't have." Kara thought, but she squeezed her eyes shut and let go of the thought that was suddenly so infuriating.

"Everything for a possible business partner," Supergirl said and leaned a little closer to Lena Luthor, who was still holding her posture and barely showing any internal emotional outbursts. "Don't be afraid of me. You've already figured out how I know about the impact on the perception of Kryptonians.”

"Your own experience," Lena said after a moment, and Supergirl's smile widened.

"I really like the speed of how you grasp everything. I hope I'm not the only one who got tired of this broken record "Super vs Luthor" when we could have co-existed and helped each other. If I had the technology of Krypton, and you were available for me to make this kind of offer, I would propose a marital union!” Supergirl grinned and said it almost as ecstatically as the old Kara would talk about cute little animals or food.

It caused the water, Lena had just decided to drink, to spray out of her mouth, Supergirl not being missed. Luthor might even have snorted it in - that tidbit Kara noticed with a hint of concern and almost palpable amusement. "She looks like a guinea pig when she puffs out her cheeks like that, trying not to asphyxiate."

“You look like a Guinea pig,” her mouth worked faster than it should’ve. "That's what I'm talking about. I am more cynical than usual, " Supergirl decided to play down the scale of what was happening. “I'm always angry and doing first - thinking after. It's hard to control it.”

"About marriage…” Lena seemed not to know what to say, so she just opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before Kara took pity on her and explained.

"On Krypton, in order to end the conflict between the Houses, marital unions were formed, the purpose of which was a child belonging to both houses, combining their knowledge and genetic material. There were no divorces on Krypton since marriage was a matter of the House, not the heart. So if we had the Birth Matrix technology now, as the daughter of Krypton, I could offer you such an alliance. It was done so that the conflict would less likely to flare up again. Of course, on Earth, this kind of marriage is just nonsense, I understand it mentally, but my condition made me blurt out too much.”

"So the real Kryptonians didn't marry for love?" Lena Luthor was a little taken aback by this information, her heartbeat telling so, but not her face. "It's intriguing that such an advanced sentient species has taken such a... path."

“Lena, the concept of love in the understanding of earthlings is not quite connected to marriage,” Supergirl rolled her eyes. “In general, it was believed that the Matrix chooses the ideal candidate who would complement and improve the union. The duty of spouses was to support each other and the child. There were families where there was no romantic love, and it was not considered as something insufficient, because its absence was normal and even mutual. On Krypton, they believed that the Matrix didn't make mistakes. Yeah, I haven't seen much of it... that explosive version of love, the one people tend to suffer through here on Earth, but I can’t say that my memories are an indicator of what actually happened. We were generally extremely closed off and formal. The Earth has changed me much.”

"Is that substance of yours talking?” Lena Luthor's eyebrows rose and she began to look like the condescending copycat of Cat Grant once again.

"I'm usually more of a… Sunshine” Supergirl blurted out, surprised by her outburst. "Rao, I hate Maxwell Lord.”

"Maxwell Lord?" the familiar name got Lena’s attention and she abruptly took on a much more serious look. "Now, Zor-El. More details and order.”

"The food is getting cold," Kara noticed, pointing at the forgotten bag of goodies that’s been cooling off. “I don't have work today, I took the day off at my own expense. According to your schedule, you still have a lot of things to do, both important and not so important, so I advise you to cancel them in advance. It will be a long story.”

"Do I need to know how exactly you know my schedule, Supergirl?" Lena Luthor's voice seemed sharp and acquired freezing to death capabilities in mere seconds. "And should my best assistant lose her title of 'best' along with her job?"

“Super. Speed.”

Lena Luthor, her facial expression looking pretty emboldened, picked up her laptop and put it on the coffee table. The tone she spoke to Supergirl next was anything but respectful.

"The first thing I ask of you, darling Super Speed, put the food next to me so that I won't have to reach far, and then, yeah. Tell me everything."

Kara Zor-El essentially knew that Lena Luthor adored research and challenging tasks, this tidbit was hard not to understand from all the scraps of LuthorCorp employees' opinions that she’d heard while making her assessment.

Kara had no idea that Lena Luthor loved this kind of tasks so much that she would cancel all her appointments for the rest of the day, including even her boyfriend. He sounded not quite happy with the sudden and vague change of plans, but Supergirl didn't give a damn.

Maxwell Lord need to finally feel frightened of the consequences of his actions - after all the Luthor was on it. But proving his involvement would feel much more secure for Supergirl - she could show it to Alex and stop them from overreacting.

The superhero didn’t want to get back to her old self. That version would’ve never admitted to herself the thoughts she’s now directly expressing. She would never have gone for help to the bearer of the Luthor surname without any previous events that would have brought them closer together.

For the new Kara, everything was extremely simple. She was in Metropolis, and the people who would want to arrest her or report uncharacteristic behavior in order to arrest her were in National City. And the sister she wanted to crush, especially after Aunt Astra, was there, too. Before the DEO knew it, the problem would be solved by a new ally, one they would all have to put up with, not use against, like what happened with Winn. And the fact that Lena Luthor would become, if not already become, an indispensable ally - is an indisputable fact.

The only thing Kara didn't understand was what exactly Lena Luthor meant by bad press. It always seemed to Supergirl that Clark was proud of the newspaper he worked for, precisely for its substantial sources and following the truth...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT on The Sociopathy of Supergirl
> 
> ===The Abruptness of Supergirl===


	6. The Abruptness of Supergirl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need some beta read for this

A little more than three hours had passed, and Kara couldn't believe her ears when the meaning of Lena's barely meaningful muttering under her breath hit her.

"You're going to make kryptonite needles by tomorrow?"

Kara turned her face to Lena Luthor, who was sighing tiredly. Supergirl was actually trying to figure out how not to break the chair she was sprawled across, fidgeting in the agony of waiting.

"Yes, Zor-El. When exactly did you manage to take off your T-shirt, and most importantly why?" Lena rubbed her eyelids and added softly. "I should’ve taken the lenses off."

"You spat water on me, and I hung it up on a chair to dry. It happened almost immediately after you turned to your laptop, Lena," Kara said, her eyes narrowing in surprise as the information hit her. "You wear glasses?"

"Yeah," Lena folded her arms across her chest with an expression on her face, as if waiting for some criticism. "You better change out of your suit, really. The symbol is quite an eyesore. You're staying in Metropolis until tomorrow, aren't you?"

Kara shrugged, picked up her cape, and fulfilled Lena's request. As she changed into her disguise, Kara looked into Lena Luthor's tired eyes and broke into a smile that surprised herself.

"I'd like to see you with your glasses on. They say it changes people unimaginably."

"Yeah?" Luthor's voice sounded much more cheerful this time, but the memory of her brother was causing her heart to flutter a bit painfully, no matter how hard she tried to hide her emotions on her face and in her voice. "Lex had bad eyesight, too. He got a laser correction."

"That’s where he got brain-damaged, I guess. Now we know who to blame!" Kara sing sang, drawing an unexpectedly loud laugh out of Lena. Supergirl leaned back on the arm of her chair so far that she began to look upside down at Luthor.

"What do you think about the nature of this synthetic kryptonite? Is Lex involved in this?” Lena asked and looked into Kara's eyes.

Supergirl was still studying the other woman while her face was upside down. Luthor’s heart skipped a beat for a few moments.

“Well, you should know better,” another Kara’s attempt to settle into the chair ended with a crunch. “Oops.”

"It feels like you're not used to sitting still at all," Lena Luthor said, raising her eyebrows again in Miss Grant’s fashion and making a joke. "This is the second cracked chair if I remember it right. You see, Supergirl, I'm already inclined to offer you a bed, but I'm afraid then you'd totally decide to offer me that... marital union of yours.”

Kara rolled her eyes and jumped out of the chair. 

"I usually worry about everything that happens in the city. Here in Metropolis, Superman is doing it. And in this state, I am quite... I shouldn't get into fights. It'll be suspicious if I let go of the idiots I don't care about. Or kill them just because they say the wrong thing.”

"I don't quite see the logic behind what you just said," Lena frowned and closed her laptop, turning her full attention to her guest. "Explain."

"I don't care about criminals right now. I could either kill them or let them go. I don't feel any different when I think about them." 

She got silent for a while and breathed in and out.

"I always supposed to be more than that," Supergirl sighed again. "With or without strength, I shouldn't have been stuck in this... limbo. Superman left me with ordinary people. Of course, they suffered as a result. And I blamed myself, who else? He is... the icon, the hero. He had his reasons. I remember Krypton, and I was mature enough to join the Thinker Guild. Would that be the equivalent, perhaps, of going to graduate school? Yeah, graduate school, let’s settle on this. And then I had to hide everything I was. Until there’s nothing... there's almost nothing left.”

"But you…” Lena was visibly thinking for a few seconds before continuing. "It can't be that bad. Without that influence, that substance, you're a hero. Saving people's lives…”

“The plane was an accident,” Supergirl shook her head as the reaction to a disbelieving expression on the face of Lena Luthor. “There was a person dear to me there. I could do nothing else. And then there was a feeling of euphoria, which quickly ended with even more... bullshit. I thought I would be at least a bit freer when I wear this cape.”

The ambiguity desperately hung in the air between them.

"I knew it was a responsibility," Supergirl breathed out. “Do not look at me like that! It's infuriating. I'm not an idiot, I know that saving people is not a walk in the park. But I was... I saw my planet explode, and I didn't want to lose anyone else, so I accepted the terms on which I would have a family. And then it turns out that the department had something really important to me all along... It was my mother's AI. And when I asked them not to kill my only living relative who cared about me, they did the opposite! I don't want to simply watch and see if they're going to kill me or not, even if someone else asks for me to be spared. I don't want to tempt myself with these thoughts and I don't want to hear their plans to neutralize me.”

Lena Luthor's gaze seemed to be still the same as it was, irritating and pitying, not entirely appropriate to the situation in Kara's opinion.

"I'm not afraid of Superman's disapproval for me doing his work in his city if that's what you thought was happening. That's not why I’m doing nothing right now. He still doesn't know I'm here, and he doesn't recognize my heartbeat among the others, so…”

"You're simply afraid to contact people you know from before this influence, that’s why you're afraid to get back to National City!" 

Lena blurted it out and, with a sharp exhalation, covered her mouth with her hand. This rapid remorse couldn't stop Kara from moving as close to Luthor as possible in a moment shorter than a breath. She almost gently took Lena by the throat, just above the collarbone.

"And you're afraid of me."

Kara didn't squeeze the windpipe or even try to restrict anything other than Luthor’s body movements. So, Lena was able to whisper it out, even under the all-encompassing fear that could be sensed in her accelerated heartbeat.

"Go ahead, Zor-El, you know what you want to do.”

Kara could hardly imagine how this mess would have ended if the door hadn't opened at the most inopportune moment.

"Jack's the only one with a biometric key," Lena muttered, and tried to move away from Supergirl, but the angry Kara was still controlling Luthor’s position in space with her other hand, resting just above the waist. It seemed somewhat intimate, except for the sense of deadly danger and panic in the woman's eyes. 

She made a decision to help Kara, didn’t she? 

A slight twinge of conscience was crushed by a new wave of anger and malice.

"Your eyes are red," Lena stopped trying to look down the hallway, where footsteps were already approaching. "Is that laser vision?"

"Any streaks?" Kara was determined not to clench her hands into fists and let her anger run wild. "Kryptonite needles tomorrow, right?"

"Maybe even tonight, technically tomorrow," Lena breathed, and the tension in her body began to dissipate, gradually calming her fluttering heart. - “Yeah, there were streaks, now there are none. If you won't sleep, then consider the needles arrive today just for you.”

The weak attempt to lighten up the mood, but it did something to Supergirl.

"Sleep is for the weak," Kara chuckled, opening her eyes and removing her hand from Lena Luthor's throat. "I need a lot of calories, so I recommend ordering something huge and full of meat."

“Meat lovers pizza?”

"You read my mind.”

They momentarily forgot the idiocy of the situation and smiled at each other.

That moment was enough to ruin everything.

No, not like that. 

For the most part, Kara didn't care, when she glanced at the tall, dark man, whose jaw dropped slightly as he met Kara's gaze. His anger, incomprehension, and accusation in his eyes as he locked his eyes on Lena - that was the moment that ruined everything.

Lena was a little dumbfounded by all that had happened and what was happening, so she couldn’t immediately find what to say. That's why her attempt to open her mouth - with the intention of either making excuses or briefing in that Jack of hers - failed miserably.

"Don't tell me I've got it all wrong and you can explain it," he narrowed his eyes and folded his arms. "You weren’t able to meet me while spending time with... this!"

Kara looked at Lena in surprise. Luthor almost immediately felt Supergirl’s stare on her face, which made her turn her face back.

“Lena?!” Jack almost foamed at the mouth and even took a step forward, but it wasn’t Kara’s main focus right now. "What are you going to say in your..."

"This?" Kara blurted out, interrupting Jack in the middle of his undoubtedly important question. “Fuck it.”

Impulsive decisions give rise to impulsive actions.

Kara Danvers finished kissing Lena Luthor when Jack Spheer already fell out the door of the apartment. Lena Luthor tried to break her hand on Kara Danvers 'face, but Kara dodged it and tried to recover at least anything.

" That's exactly what I'm talking about. I have no idea what I'm doing when my self-control and meditation techniques fail.”

"Rewind," Lena Luthor said, catching her breath, once again the epitome of business and passion for research. "Are you using some kind of technique to control your condition?"

Kara rolled her eyes, for the umpteenth time that day, and shrugged.

"It works every other time, as you can see. He didn't piss me off, I was... it felt like he humiliated us both. Like you owe him anything, " Kara snorted.

"I owe?... Zor-El! He's my boyfriend, I love him, of course, I do…”

"Oh, please," Kara sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "He didn't even let you get a word in. This is disrespect and distrust. But it's not for me to judge, I've never had a normal relationship, to be honest, so take everything I say on this subject with a grain of salt.”

"I wasn’t doing it otherwise all this time, Supergirl.”

"I'm not going to apologize. I don’t see a problem.”

"I'm not going to tell you what you need to apologize for, Supergirl.”

"It felt like he meant that people in your circles can't wear jeans and T-shirts and I’m somehow lower than him! I don't look homeless! What's his problem, Luthor?!”

"I keep canceling our meetings ever since everything went downhill after Lex's breakdown," Lena sighed and touched Kara's forearm. "Don't take it personally, and try not to kill me before I find your cure, or until the influence wears off."

"Both are equally likely," Kara muttered and nodded as if she had made up her mind. "It's not that I like living in a permanent cage, but it's even less… I like not being in control of what I do, no matter how hard I try.”

"I promised to help you. I already told you, Zor-El.”

"Promise me that if I forget this, you'll save me?"

"I'm afraid, Zor-El," Lena tiredly sighed, as if she were holding back her tears, her voice ragged and deep, " if you won't be who you are now if you forget it, then you won't need me anymore."

“Promise me,” Kara gently squeezed Lena's forearm in return and clenched her teeth so that her cheekbones and jaw got visibly defined.

Lena silently released her hand from the unbelievably soft grip and went into the bathroom.

Kara stayed where she was and tried to calm the waves of worry and anger. Five minutes had passed and the strength of this silent struggle was apparent. That's when Lena Luthor's loud voice disturbed the silence, and Kara regained a semblance of control.

"Pizza's coming in half an hour," Luthor said and shrugged. "Your existential crisis would be better to experience on a full stomach, don't you think?"

Kara Danvers felt a slight surge of unexpected warmth, usually reserved for family members if she tried to remember any similar feelings, but it was almost immediately replaced by vague anxiety and unrest.

Maxwell Lord must pay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I would be really happy if you let me know of my mistakes. Comment if you wish, I'd be happy if you tell me if you think something is wrong, highly inaccurate or that you like something that much you wanna tell me ^_^
> 
> There's one more fanfic I wrote in this fandom, you might want to read, but the most part of it is in Russian. It's quite different from Sociopathy.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831761/chapters/70717272
> 
> I'm not sure I'm going to translate it all, but if there are any of you who would want me to, I'd totally consider it.


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